Parting Thoughts

Last Friday, a few days after it happened, I was thinking about 18th-century partner's question about whether my dad approved of my job change. I was walking back to the office about 4:00 after being off-site for an assignment and then taking lunch, ahem, I mean mountain biking. It was really warm out and I was wearing a short sleeve shirt and thin, but not shiny, thank god, bike shorts. Shorts. And my black ballet flats. All I wanted to do was slip undetected into the first floor bathroom with the locker room (my office is on the third floor), and change before anyone saw me. I was about to enter the building when who else but 18th century partner walked out. "Looking casual today," he said. Son of a bitch. "I was at a job site with [other partner]...Have a nice weekend, [18th-century partner]!" Silence.

My last day was uneventful. As was the entire last week, I guess. The other partner I work for sent me a nice, encouraging email. One of the associates I worked with on his work called me with some nice words as well. My "main" boss didn't really say much. I don't think he likes me, and I think I have been a thorn in his side for the past two years because there really wasn't a place for me in his group and I kept asking for more work/more money and he wasn't able to deliver it, but admitting that would make him look bad so he was stuck. And I was stuck but I got unstuck and I'm so happy I got out of there!!!!!! Still, he's a good sport and took me and a few other lawyers to lunch at a really good Syrian restaurant right across the street from the elementary school that my firm "adopted" for two years. It was delicious! One of the new associates has had lots of Middle Eastern food and helped me with the ordering (oh, by the way I'm half Syrian), and I loved showcasing the food of "my people" to the others. That took two hours. The rest of my time I spent cleaning out my office. I think I billed an hour and a half. I probably billed 15 hours for the week. I don't know why I had to be there but my boss wanted the customary two weeks. Which is funny because he is not replacing me (which is a good call, see above). I was happy to get paid to take long lunches mountain biking.

So, anyway, my last day was kind of like, "Peace out, fuckers!" But I pretended that it wasn't. 

Introducing Mrs. Smug

Not I. No, no, I have been humbled way too many times by an older toddler to be smug about my parenting choices and abilities.

I was admiring the adorable little blond boy at Cosi today while waiting for my lunch. We was probably almost two. He sat in his high chair at the table and just sat there. Looked around. There was no food in front of him. No toys. No screen. He sat there. Didn't scream or yell. Didn't squirm. His mother was also blonde with a perfect updo, a fine-featured, beautiful face and she too sat at the table with quite a bit of poise. Then I realized that I knew the other women at the table--my dad's cousin and her mother. I went over to say hello and was introduced to the beautiful, poised woman and her beautiful child. I commented on well he was doing. The cousin told her daughter-in-law (the beautiful, poised woman) that I had two sons and how old they are. I said they would never sit there like this. Beautiful, poised woman looked at me calmly, with a slightly confused expression and said, "they wouldn't?" and slightly nodded while slightly tilting her head. Cue the arrival of the food--thank god! perfect timing!--and I, gracefully, I might add, excused myself.

I wanted to scream at her: IT'S NOT YOUR PARENTING!!! IT'S NOT YOU, IT'S YOUR KID!!! JUST WAIT UNTIL YOU HAVE ANOTHER ONE!!!

Oh, You!

Remember that managing partner who told me I should abandon my nursing infant to attend a firm-sponsored, out-of-town social event because I am not a single mother and if my husband can't help then my parents should be able to? Despite this we have a bit of a personal relationship because my dad wrote him a letter of recommendation for a judgeship not too long ago (he didn't get it). The guy does remind me of my dad so I guess I can say I sort of understand him, even if I think he is trapped in a prior century. But anyway, I decided to tell him in person that I got the new job. He made a lot of facial expressions that looked a lot like wringing of one's hands, but he was pretty neutral about the news. Then he asked me if my dad knew about this. Or "approved"? Or something weird like that. I'm thinking, I'm almost 40 years old, I don't ask my dad for permission to make life changes. But who am I kidding?

No, just kidding. (I admit I did seek some help with the salary negotiation process, but my dad was pretty unhelpful.) I think I said to the partner that "I try not to let my dad have that kind of input." I don't even know what I was trying to say. I guess I was so shocked by the question. Somehow, still, at this point with this guy.

Anyway, thought I would share some more of the current job dysfunction. Oh, how I wonder what I'll be wading into at the new place! I start November 30th. I offered to start the 23rd but my new boss will likely still be in trial that begins the week before. Only five more days at the old gig. So awesome! And then two whole weeks off, including the days before Thanksgiving. I can't wait. Though I wish, yet again, that we were renters instead of homeowners because there's a shitload of house chores on my to-do list. Progress report in a bit...

More Lawyer, Less Mom

There's about to be a lot more lawyering in my life. I got a new job!!!!!! Finally!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm just not even going to talk about how many resumes I sent out. How many times I heard absolutely nothing back, even after interviewing at one place. (Is that normal?) Funny that now that I am going to be doing more (good), I am suddenly ambivalent about having to do more. I will no longer be begging for work, at least I hope that will be the case. I am also adding a substantial commute to my routine, so I am a little worried about that. My new boss said I could telecommute one day a week straight away, with the opportunity to do that two or even more days per week depending on what's going on and how seamlessly I can work remotely.

I gave my two weeks notice and my current boss took the news in stride, shall we say? I have been talking to him about looking for a new job, so it really wasn't a surprise. Also when I asked for a big raise, like huge raise, because that would be market competitive, they came back with "no." Not, "no, but here's $2000." Just no. But another reason I had to leave was that there was no plan for me. After three and a half years I was still doing the same thing, with no increased responsibility and no plan for giving me more responsibility. So this new gig will be great. I am getting that huge salary increase that I wanted and getting into a "better" practice area where I can do more. I just hope I'm really ready to focus on career.

Because in the mommying department, nothing is new. Just trying to cope with having a three-year-old and figuring out the developing personality of LJ, who is--no joke--starting to throw little tantrums of his own. We've been getting it on and I suppose I have just entered two-week-wait time, but I have low hopes and frankly it will be OK if/when I'm not pregnant this month. See above.

'Til next time...