Remember that managing partner who told me I should abandon my nursing infant to attend a firm-sponsored, out-of-town social event because I am not a single mother and if my husband can't help then my parents should be able to? Despite this we have a bit of a personal relationship because my dad wrote him a letter of recommendation for a judgeship not too long ago (he didn't get it). The guy does remind me of my dad so I guess I can say I sort of understand him, even if I think he is trapped in a prior century. But anyway, I decided to tell him in person that I got the new job. He made a lot of facial expressions that looked a lot like wringing of one's hands, but he was pretty neutral about the news. Then he asked me if my dad knew about this. Or "approved"? Or something weird like that. I'm thinking, I'm almost 40 years old, I don't ask my dad for permission to make life changes. But who am I kidding?
No, just kidding. (I admit I did seek some help with the salary negotiation process, but my dad was pretty unhelpful.) I think I said to the partner that "I try not to let my dad have that kind of input." I don't even know what I was trying to say. I guess I was so shocked by the question. Somehow, still, at this point with this guy.
Anyway, thought I would share some more of the current job dysfunction. Oh, how I wonder what I'll be wading into at the new place! I start November 30th. I offered to start the 23rd but my new boss will likely still be in trial that begins the week before. Only five more days at the old gig. So awesome! And then two whole weeks off, including the days before Thanksgiving. I can't wait. Though I wish, yet again, that we were renters instead of homeowners because there's a shitload of house chores on my to-do list. Progress report in a bit...
Saturday, November 7, 2015
Tuesday, November 3, 2015
More Lawyer, Less Mom
There's about to be a lot more lawyering in my life. I got a new job!!!!!! Finally!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm just not even going to talk about how many resumes I sent out. How many times I heard absolutely nothing back, even after interviewing at one place. (Is that normal?) Funny that now that I am going to be doing more (good), I am suddenly ambivalent about having to do more. I will no longer be begging for work, at least I hope that will be the case. I am also adding a substantial commute to my routine, so I am a little worried about that. My new boss said I could telecommute one day a week straight away, with the opportunity to do that two or even more days per week depending on what's going on and how seamlessly I can work remotely.
I gave my two weeks notice and my current boss took the news in stride, shall we say? I have been talking to him about looking for a new job, so it really wasn't a surprise. Also when I asked for a big raise, like huge raise, because that would be market competitive, they came back with "no." Not, "no, but here's $2000." Just no. But another reason I had to leave was that there was no plan for me. After three and a half years I was still doing the same thing, with no increased responsibility and no plan for giving me more responsibility. So this new gig will be great. I am getting that huge salary increase that I wanted and getting into a "better" practice area where I can do more. I just hope I'm really ready to focus on career.
Because in the mommying department, nothing is new. Just trying to cope with having a three-year-old and figuring out the developing personality of LJ, who is--no joke--starting to throw little tantrums of his own. We've been getting it on and I suppose I have just entered two-week-wait time, but I have low hopes and frankly it will be OK if/when I'm not pregnant this month. See above.
'Til next time...
I gave my two weeks notice and my current boss took the news in stride, shall we say? I have been talking to him about looking for a new job, so it really wasn't a surprise. Also when I asked for a big raise, like huge raise, because that would be market competitive, they came back with "no." Not, "no, but here's $2000." Just no. But another reason I had to leave was that there was no plan for me. After three and a half years I was still doing the same thing, with no increased responsibility and no plan for giving me more responsibility. So this new gig will be great. I am getting that huge salary increase that I wanted and getting into a "better" practice area where I can do more. I just hope I'm really ready to focus on career.
Because in the mommying department, nothing is new. Just trying to cope with having a three-year-old and figuring out the developing personality of LJ, who is--no joke--starting to throw little tantrums of his own. We've been getting it on and I suppose I have just entered two-week-wait time, but I have low hopes and frankly it will be OK if/when I'm not pregnant this month. See above.
'Til next time...
Friday, October 2, 2015
Where We Are Now
Well, first, I recently went to my 20-year high school reunion. Are you kidding me? And would you believe that only one person got fat? Of course attendees are self-selected. "Some things never change," I said as I slid into a chair at the geeks' table later in the evening. Earlier in the evening I was trying hard to keep my panties dry while catching up with my old flame. He is still seriously really hot, you guys! As is true in most cases, the reunion benefited from low expectations, and I had a really good time.
*****
LJ turned one last weekend. I swear the first year of your kid's life is shorter than 9 months (or 8.5 in my case) of pregnancy. He is walking competently and even started wrestling with Junior in the past few days. He laughs when you ask him questions and refuses to try to communicate with anything other than laughter (and screeching). Maybe we should be spending a little time teaching him how to clap? and stuff?
*****
We're "going for the girl." It has nothing to do with LJ turning one, in fact we've been sort of "trying" since I weaned him, back at the end of April. Apparently you need progesterone to ovulate and get pregnant. And if you have low progesterone, it may not be your fault--or your husband's fault--that you don't ever feel like getting it on, which also doesn't help achieve pregnancy. Two more months will mark six months of "infertility," emphasis on the scare quotes here, and perhaps we will move on to interventions since I am 38 now (my profile is a lie). Maybe the supplements I haphazardly remember to take will start working (vitex/chasteberry), and/or maybe I will realize that it's okay to have a little break between kid 2 and kid 3. So we'll see. If I get pregnant again I will probably have another boy anyway.
*****
I'm still dieting...tomorrow. Never today, always tomorrow. I read that sugar cravings are also symptoms of Low P. So it's not my fault.
Also as always, more updates later. I should just make that my signature. Junior napped today and is still up, but Frozen is over so he may be willing to finally go to bed. I better take him. G'night!
*****
LJ turned one last weekend. I swear the first year of your kid's life is shorter than 9 months (or 8.5 in my case) of pregnancy. He is walking competently and even started wrestling with Junior in the past few days. He laughs when you ask him questions and refuses to try to communicate with anything other than laughter (and screeching). Maybe we should be spending a little time teaching him how to clap? and stuff?
*****
We're "going for the girl." It has nothing to do with LJ turning one, in fact we've been sort of "trying" since I weaned him, back at the end of April. Apparently you need progesterone to ovulate and get pregnant. And if you have low progesterone, it may not be your fault--or your husband's fault--that you don't ever feel like getting it on, which also doesn't help achieve pregnancy. Two more months will mark six months of "infertility," emphasis on the scare quotes here, and perhaps we will move on to interventions since I am 38 now (my profile is a lie). Maybe the supplements I haphazardly remember to take will start working (vitex/chasteberry), and/or maybe I will realize that it's okay to have a little break between kid 2 and kid 3. So we'll see. If I get pregnant again I will probably have another boy anyway.
*****
I'm still dieting...tomorrow. Never today, always tomorrow. I read that sugar cravings are also symptoms of Low P. So it's not my fault.
Also as always, more updates later. I should just make that my signature. Junior napped today and is still up, but Frozen is over so he may be willing to finally go to bed. I better take him. G'night!
Legal Ed and Salaries
This sounds familiar: http://www.nytimes.com/2015/04/27/business/dealbook/burdened-with-debt-law-school-graduates-struggle-in-job-market.html?action=click&contentCollection=U.S.&module=MostEmailed&version=Full®ion=Marginalia&src=me&pgtype=article
And this, a myth: http://www.nytimes.com/2015/04/17/business/dealbook/welcome-to-your-first-year-as-a-lawyer-your-salary-is-160000-a-year.html?action=click&contentCollection=DealBook&module=RelatedCoverage®ion=Marginalia&pgtype=article
Funny how these two articles were juxtaposed. It is the latter article that caused the former to occur.
I originally started this post in April and apparently was going to comment on it, but never got around to it. I'm still get getting around to it. Enjoy the articles!
And this, a myth: http://www.nytimes.com/2015/04/17/business/dealbook/welcome-to-your-first-year-as-a-lawyer-your-salary-is-160000-a-year.html?action=click&contentCollection=DealBook&module=RelatedCoverage®ion=Marginalia&pgtype=article
Funny how these two articles were juxtaposed. It is the latter article that caused the former to occur.
I originally started this post in April and apparently was going to comment on it, but never got around to it. I'm still get getting around to it. Enjoy the articles!
Sunday, April 26, 2015
Top 5 Trends to End in 2015
I meant to post this in January but of course I am late. (You are aware of the URL of this blog, no?)
With the new year (ahem) in full swing, resolutions made and busted, I hope we can focus on a few trends to end in 2015.
1) Trending.
I absolutely loathe made up words. And although I have a Twitter account and new people keep following me (why?), I haven't logged in in about two years. I don't hate Twitter, I just still don't get it.
2) Sugar as devil/addiction/death wish. Or any food that you "should never eat."
Is it poison? I think I already blogged about this in the post in which I explained that I was sugar-free for THREE WHOLE DAYS IN A ROW. But mainly my point is, food restrictions and 30-day diets and juicing and all that crap are just ways for the people proselytizing and extolling the virtues of colon cleanses and what-not to make money off of you. Any diet that tells you you can't even eat a piece of birthday cake at your kid's birthday party is just setting you up to fail. It's kind of ridiculous how obsessed thin, middle-class/rich people are with monitoring their food intake and throughput. A doctor in one of these articles put it this way: if you're of normal weight with normal blood sugar, blood pressure, and cholesterol, then you probably don't need to change anything.
3) Soul Cycle is the best workout ever!
OMG! Didn't spin classes start like 20 years ago? Tell me what is so fucking revolutionary about Soul Cycle? Really. I have never been. I hate spin class. I hate spin class because I am actual cyclist and spin class is just a way to pedal in winter and keep your ass in shape (literally, I mean keep it accustomed to sitting on a tiny, uncomfortable bike seat) so that you can hit the road or trail again in the spring. People who ride actual bikes do not do pushups on their handle bars. They do not spend 50% or more of their ride out of the saddle. It's probably more like 5%. Maybe. Look, I am not a hater of anyone who wants to exercise and has found a way that they enjoying doing it. But it's not a lifestyle, people. I care as much about your Soul Cycle addiction as I do about your gluten intolerance. It's an overpriced, overly-sweaty way to listen to music while burning some extra calories. Trust me, you are not burning enough extra calories that you actually need to deliberately eat before class. And that sweatiness? It's not the sign of an amazing workout, it's a sign that there is no actual air moving past your body to dry the sweat away.
4) Oh yeah, about that gluten.
Please stop, everyone, talking about how going gluten-free has changed your life. So you stopped eating Nutter Butters for breakfast? Congratulations. Guess what? I stopped eating raw onions because they made my stomach hurt and you know what? My stomach doesn't hurt when I avoid eating raw onions. Gluten don't mean a thing (unless you have celiac disease). If you think it makes you feel better to avoid eating it? Great. But STFU. No one cares. NO ONE. Also, why the hell is my body lotion now labeled gluten free? And then...the gluten...TOUCHED MY SKIN! I just...am without words. For serious, here's what I really find objectionable--the idea that gluten-free foods are HEALTHY and those containing gluten are not.
5) Parenting Humblebragging
I think, generally speaking, that more people should just mind their own business and stop judging others for procreating, but sometimes I think you deserve to be judged when you say such things as "my 6-year-old daughter wants to give a speech about colonialism" and then following it with #winning. For example. Eyeroll. Winning at parenting? This just bothers me. It's obnoxious. Maybe I'm sensitive because every day I feel like I am losing at parenting when I can't even get two kids coordinated to go for a walk to the park. It's one thing to share your kids' accomplishments with your social network, but keep your gloating to your smug self. (side note, hashtags are pretty annoying too, aren't they over yet?).
Those are my Top 5. What did I miss? Besides "Top x" lists. I originally titled this simply "Trends to End," but it wasn't catchy enough, right?
With the new year (ahem) in full swing, resolutions made and busted, I hope we can focus on a few trends to end in 2015.
1) Trending.
I absolutely loathe made up words. And although I have a Twitter account and new people keep following me (why?), I haven't logged in in about two years. I don't hate Twitter, I just still don't get it.
2) Sugar as devil/addiction/death wish. Or any food that you "should never eat."
Is it poison? I think I already blogged about this in the post in which I explained that I was sugar-free for THREE WHOLE DAYS IN A ROW. But mainly my point is, food restrictions and 30-day diets and juicing and all that crap are just ways for the people proselytizing and extolling the virtues of colon cleanses and what-not to make money off of you. Any diet that tells you you can't even eat a piece of birthday cake at your kid's birthday party is just setting you up to fail. It's kind of ridiculous how obsessed thin, middle-class/rich people are with monitoring their food intake and throughput. A doctor in one of these articles put it this way: if you're of normal weight with normal blood sugar, blood pressure, and cholesterol, then you probably don't need to change anything.
3) Soul Cycle is the best workout ever!
OMG! Didn't spin classes start like 20 years ago? Tell me what is so fucking revolutionary about Soul Cycle? Really. I have never been. I hate spin class. I hate spin class because I am actual cyclist and spin class is just a way to pedal in winter and keep your ass in shape (literally, I mean keep it accustomed to sitting on a tiny, uncomfortable bike seat) so that you can hit the road or trail again in the spring. People who ride actual bikes do not do pushups on their handle bars. They do not spend 50% or more of their ride out of the saddle. It's probably more like 5%. Maybe. Look, I am not a hater of anyone who wants to exercise and has found a way that they enjoying doing it. But it's not a lifestyle, people. I care as much about your Soul Cycle addiction as I do about your gluten intolerance. It's an overpriced, overly-sweaty way to listen to music while burning some extra calories. Trust me, you are not burning enough extra calories that you actually need to deliberately eat before class. And that sweatiness? It's not the sign of an amazing workout, it's a sign that there is no actual air moving past your body to dry the sweat away.
4) Oh yeah, about that gluten.
Please stop, everyone, talking about how going gluten-free has changed your life. So you stopped eating Nutter Butters for breakfast? Congratulations. Guess what? I stopped eating raw onions because they made my stomach hurt and you know what? My stomach doesn't hurt when I avoid eating raw onions. Gluten don't mean a thing (unless you have celiac disease). If you think it makes you feel better to avoid eating it? Great. But STFU. No one cares. NO ONE. Also, why the hell is my body lotion now labeled gluten free? And then...the gluten...TOUCHED MY SKIN! I just...am without words. For serious, here's what I really find objectionable--the idea that gluten-free foods are HEALTHY and those containing gluten are not.
5) Parenting Humblebragging
I think, generally speaking, that more people should just mind their own business and stop judging others for procreating, but sometimes I think you deserve to be judged when you say such things as "my 6-year-old daughter wants to give a speech about colonialism" and then following it with #winning. For example. Eyeroll. Winning at parenting? This just bothers me. It's obnoxious. Maybe I'm sensitive because every day I feel like I am losing at parenting when I can't even get two kids coordinated to go for a walk to the park. It's one thing to share your kids' accomplishments with your social network, but keep your gloating to your smug self. (side note, hashtags are pretty annoying too, aren't they over yet?).
Those are my Top 5. What did I miss? Besides "Top x" lists. I originally titled this simply "Trends to End," but it wasn't catchy enough, right?
Friday, April 17, 2015
Conversations with Toddlers
A few weeks ago I realized I had just had a conversation with my 2-year-old. Which is pretty cool the first time it happens. We've been doing a lot of talking over here recently, and I thought I would share some of my favorite "conversations."
Senior: Do you love Mommy? Junior: Yes!
Senior: Do you love Bro? Junior: Yes!
Senior: Do you love Daddy? Junior: Yes!
Me (because I am an a-hole): Who do you love most? Junior: Nanny!
Genius, really. What a little diplomat.
*****
Some background: Junior has a 4-year-old cousin, M, who only eats carrots as far as vegetables go. Also, my dad is a weekend-warrior type breeder of Morgan horses. We had a horse named Fuzz who was recently sold but went to a client in the same barn. We still visit Fuzz about every other weekend, along with the other horses.
Scene: around our kitchen table, trying to get Junior to eat some vegetables. Tonight? Carrots.
Me: Do you like carrots? I like carrots.
Junior pretends not to hear me and does not eat carrots.
Me: Do you know who else likes carrots? Junior: Nonno!
Me: Who else likes carrots? (expecting he will say M) Junior: Fuzz!
*****
Scene: around out kitchen table, trying to get Junior to eat the lovely quiche Senior has prepared for dinner. (No, he used frozen pie crust. Don't give him too much credit.)
Us, pleading: c'mon, this is eggs, you like eggs!
Junior, refusing to eat quiche: I no like it!
Senior sneaks a bite of food in his mouth while he's whining. Junior obviously does like it. Junior continues to not eat quiche. I fear for his teenage years.
*****
Scene: Starbucks drive-thru.
Junior: Mommy, I want french fries!
Senior, you're busted.
*****
Scene: driving home after picking up Junior at day care.
Me: are you hungry? What should we have for supper?
Junior: Both.
Me: Both? Both of what?
Junior: I want both. Mommy, I want both.
Me: What do you mean you want both?
Junior: I want oreos and ice cream.
Duh, naturally. He is my child, after all!
Senior: Do you love Mommy? Junior: Yes!
Senior: Do you love Bro? Junior: Yes!
Senior: Do you love Daddy? Junior: Yes!
Me (because I am an a-hole): Who do you love most? Junior: Nanny!
Genius, really. What a little diplomat.
*****
Some background: Junior has a 4-year-old cousin, M, who only eats carrots as far as vegetables go. Also, my dad is a weekend-warrior type breeder of Morgan horses. We had a horse named Fuzz who was recently sold but went to a client in the same barn. We still visit Fuzz about every other weekend, along with the other horses.
Scene: around our kitchen table, trying to get Junior to eat some vegetables. Tonight? Carrots.
Me: Do you like carrots? I like carrots.
Junior pretends not to hear me and does not eat carrots.
Me: Do you know who else likes carrots? Junior: Nonno!
Me: Who else likes carrots? (expecting he will say M) Junior: Fuzz!
*****
Scene: around out kitchen table, trying to get Junior to eat the lovely quiche Senior has prepared for dinner. (No, he used frozen pie crust. Don't give him too much credit.)
Us, pleading: c'mon, this is eggs, you like eggs!
Junior, refusing to eat quiche: I no like it!
Senior sneaks a bite of food in his mouth while he's whining. Junior obviously does like it. Junior continues to not eat quiche. I fear for his teenage years.
*****
Scene: Starbucks drive-thru.
Junior: Mommy, I want french fries!
Senior, you're busted.
*****
Scene: driving home after picking up Junior at day care.
Me: are you hungry? What should we have for supper?
Junior: Both.
Me: Both? Both of what?
Junior: I want both. Mommy, I want both.
Me: What do you mean you want both?
Junior: I want oreos and ice cream.
Duh, naturally. He is my child, after all!
Thursday, April 9, 2015
Reclaiming My Identity
This blog is supposed to be irreverent and funny, dammit. I would like to at least try to be funny instead of angry all the time. Although I should probably just admit that I am an angry-type person. Today I cried while listening to the Barenaked Ladies' The Old Apartment (ah, memories!), though, too, so I think I just feel every feeling a lot?
Anyway...you've probably seen the research that shows that you will spend like 2 million dollars on your kids before they reach adulthood. It's really not nearly that much actually. But I wonder if those tallies account for all the things you have to re-buy because your kid destroys them. The other day Senior asked me where the new bottle of California Baby soap was, and I replied "I don't know, what did you do with it?" There was the empty bottle that Junior plays with in the bath. And there was the other empty bottle--the brand new one that was completely full until Junior, apparently, dumped it down the drain. That was 10 wasted dollars! And now Senior has forbidden me from buying more California Baby until we finish the jumbo bottle of the Walgreen's private label crap.
I can't even remember now all the things that Junior has broken or otherwise caused harm to because I have selectively blocked it from my memory, but suffice it to say that countless book pages have been torn ("I rip it!"), plastic bits snapped, and oh, I don't know, things like leather couches have been scribbled on with pens. He threw an acorn at me once and landed it on the lens of my fancy camera, over which of course I did not have the protective filter, but thankfully that did not cause any damage. He drew on the $60 print of our family on the beach, but you better believe that ink washes off a $60 freakin' photograph, so that was okay too. But what if these weren't just close calls and I had to replace such things? I guess I would be a) a lot more careful with my nice stuff, or b) would not have any nice stuff, or c) would at least be a lot thriftier with certain things that one can be thrifty about.
Like tomorrow, I am "working from home" in the morning so that I can"go to a doctor appointment for LJ" go to the kids' crap semi-annual consignment sale. I'm hoping for a double jogger that can double as a regular double stroller, and possibly an exersaucer (if the one I thought I saw in my parents' basement, probably leftover from my sister whose youngest is now 6, is in fact not there), and probably a variety of other things I don't need or don't yet know that I actually need--are those 2 things one in the same? Oh wait, and maybe one or two convertible car seats if they are newer models. Anyway, I typically hate shopping for anything but perhaps it won't be so bad if I am skipping work, I mean attributing the time to my lunch break. Wish me luck!
Anyway...you've probably seen the research that shows that you will spend like 2 million dollars on your kids before they reach adulthood. It's really not nearly that much actually. But I wonder if those tallies account for all the things you have to re-buy because your kid destroys them. The other day Senior asked me where the new bottle of California Baby soap was, and I replied "I don't know, what did you do with it?" There was the empty bottle that Junior plays with in the bath. And there was the other empty bottle--the brand new one that was completely full until Junior, apparently, dumped it down the drain. That was 10 wasted dollars! And now Senior has forbidden me from buying more California Baby until we finish the jumbo bottle of the Walgreen's private label crap.
I can't even remember now all the things that Junior has broken or otherwise caused harm to because I have selectively blocked it from my memory, but suffice it to say that countless book pages have been torn ("I rip it!"), plastic bits snapped, and oh, I don't know, things like leather couches have been scribbled on with pens. He threw an acorn at me once and landed it on the lens of my fancy camera, over which of course I did not have the protective filter, but thankfully that did not cause any damage. He drew on the $60 print of our family on the beach, but you better believe that ink washes off a $60 freakin' photograph, so that was okay too. But what if these weren't just close calls and I had to replace such things? I guess I would be a) a lot more careful with my nice stuff, or b) would not have any nice stuff, or c) would at least be a lot thriftier with certain things that one can be thrifty about.
Like tomorrow, I am "working from home" in the morning so that I can
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