Sunday, December 7, 2014

I'm Back!

At least until my computer forgets to remember the password to this email account. I mean, you didn't expect a litigator to keep her mouth shut for too long, did you?

So where were we? Junior had just turned one. I was trying hoping to get pregnant again. My job was kind of boring and work was slow and I thought I might get laid off by the end of 2014. Also I wanted to make cheese out of my leftover frozen breast milk.

In a nutshell, Junior has now recently turned two, I had a whole 'nother kid, my job is still boring and slow but probably thanks to Kid 2 I did not get laid off, and I did in fact make cheese out of my breast milk. Some of these updates will be discussed in detail in a future post. For now, meet my new little guy, LJ:

He was born two weeks early, on September 27 at 1:37 a.m. My kids immediately start torturing me by being born in the middle of the night so that I am expected to stay in the hospital for what amounts to three nights instead of two. Both times I left early and only spent two nights, but I really wanted to leave the same day he was born. But apparently the hospital is in charge of your baby's well-being, not you, because that was something the rounding pediatrician was "not comfortable with" and thus strictly prohibited. Whatever.*

This labor was kind of a funny work story, because my water broke at home on a Thursday night, and thanks to leftover maxi pads from Junior's birth, I went into work for an hour the next morning to tie up loose ends before going to the hospital. The secretaries thought I was crazy, but really, I would rather have been there then to submit time sheets and change the message on my voice mail than after the baby was born. As for showing up at the hospital, I was really reluctant to go, especially because it was such a beautiful day and I was going to have to be inside and I knew I was also going to be refused any food for the next who knew how many hours? Which is easily overcome by sneaking snacks in your overnight bag, by the way. Anyway, I didn't call the doctor's office until Friday morning because I knew they would want me to come in right away and it was after 8:00 at night and I just wanted to eat some dinner, take a shower and sleep in my own bed.

In the morning, as predicted, they demanded that I come in right away. I was on the way to the store to get bagels and said I could arrive in 45 minutes. After a cervix check that I tried pretty hard to refuse (I was swayed when the nurse said that if I was not further dilated than the 2-3cms from my appointment two weeks prior, then I could go home and hang out for a good while before showing up at the hospital), it was determined that I was not further dilated (duh, I was not having any contractions, at all), but I had to get a fluid check and a non-stress test. I failed the fluid check apparently and it was recommended that I go immediately to the hospital. So much for the cervix check first, rendered completely unnecessary at this point, but in the end, three cervix checks and no infections, so none of that mattered. I said I would get there in an hour, and then went to work for an hour, went home to play with Junior, have some lunch and pack a bag, and arrived about three hours later. Anyway, blah, blah, blah, blah blah snowcones, blah blah pitocin, blah blah blah epidural (a few too many blahs later than I would have liked), no blahs between 9cm dilated and having a baby in two pushes and ta-da! I became a mother of two little boys.

I feel like a ton of people have their kids two years apart, but no one ever tells you what a little a-hole your toddler is to your newborn, and in general. So we are dealing with some behavior issues. It is nothing unexpected or abnormal, just difficult when you are spending a good portion of your nights not sleeping. I am currently on maternity leave and I hope I have enough time left that LJ gets to a point where he is sleeping better at night. I feel like Junior was better by this age, but who can remember what she remembered while in the throes of sleep deprivation?

Speaking of sleep deprivation, I no longer have the attention span to continue writing this post, which means you probably do not have the attention span to continue reading it anyway. Stay tuned for more catch up on job suckiness, adventures in cheese making, and other topics.

* It was just beautiful, beautiful weather the two days I was in there. I make it sound like jail because that's what if felt like because I generally have to be outside when it is nice out. Especially since we East Coasters do not often experience the beautiful weather we were experiencing those two days. In the end I was permitted to go outside on the hospital grounds while accompanied by another adult. My friend C and I went for a little walk with our toddlers and the moment I stepped through the exterior doors I was like, "oh, it's hot out." And of course it was not exactly easy to walk around about 30 hours post-partum, let alone chase after an almost two-year-old, and then I got back inside at 7:01 and was unable to order any (delicious hospital) food for dinner. Did I put a little too much emphasis on my need to be outside? Rather than my need to relax and recover and generally not stress out? Ya think? Next time I'm going to suck every last minute out of my hospital stay, especially if it's extremely cold, hot and humid, or raining out. I shall plan accordingly.

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