Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Say, "Cheese!" Boob Cheese, That Is

Back in May I realized there was nothing to be done with a few bags of leftover breastmilk because Junior had weaned in December. Nothing except make cheese, that is! I enlisted my childhood friend and chef, Ian Knauer, for a little cheese-making experiment. Ian assured me that my surplus 40 of milk would be enough for an easy-peasy batch of ricotta. Below is our recipe.

Step 1: shoot the shit with childhood friend whom you haven't seen in awhile. Because you forgot to defrost the milk ahead of time. (And because you want to catch up with your friend.)

Step 2: place defrosted milk in large Le Creuset pot and heat on stove. Add lemon juice and something else that I can't remember--probably salt. Stir frequently to prevent scorching and watch for curds to form. Add more lemon juice because curd is not forming. Ian comments that the fat content in human milk is obviously higher than in milk from other animals. We start to wonder if we're doing this right. Recipes on the Internet include a mix of about half cow's milk to go with the human milk. Apparently we are pioneers of the 100% natural, pure-breastmilk cheese movement.

Step 3: realize that the curd is very, very small and had been forming before we added too much lemon juice.

Step 4: strain milk into bowl, using a cheesecloth (actually, it was a tea towel) to catch the tiny curds and separate the curds and whey. According to even Ian, whey is disgusting, so discard whey (the watery part).
Mmm, human milk cheese curds.

Ian says, "Whey looks like pee."

Step 5: eat your fresh-made ricotta with honey and peaches.

Step 6: allow ricotta to get quite old in fridge and gather a bit of mold, because you actually do not really like cheese made with your own breastmilk. Unless you are Ian, on the other hand, then enjoy fresh-made cheese within days of its preparation.

Happy cheese-making!*

*Any extra milk I have from the second kid, however, I am going to sell to grown men on the Internet. I am also making a sign that says "will pump for $$$." It's really too bad maternity leave ends on Monday.

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